Wednesday, March 31, 2010

question 194

Q. Is the glass half full or half empty?

A. Neither. the glass is 95% filled with ice, which costs the establishment nothing to make, and is 5% filled with the liquid you ordered.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

question 193

Q. Is there such a thing as Reincarnation?

A. We had better hope so, given the waiting times in the Health System...

Monday, March 8, 2010

question 192

Q. Do today's computer obsessed youngsters have any idea of their history - for instance, how many internet junkies know who was the French commander at the Battle of the Plains of Abraham?

A. Easy,

Friday, March 5, 2010

question 191

Q. Why did the fish cross the road?

A. On Fridays he does the old Catholic neighborhoods for the chicken...

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

question 190

Q. Why are Basenjis called 'Dog convertibles'?

A. Because they are roof-less.

Monday, March 1, 2010

question 189

Q. Why did Oedipus cross the road?

A. To get to the mother side....

Sunday, February 28, 2010

question 188

Q. What do kettles, mermaids, and union members have in common?

A. They all have scale.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

question 187

Q. In George Orwell's book "Animal Farm", what did the phrase "Two legs bad, four legs good" refer to?

A. Table design.

Friday, February 26, 2010

question 186

Q. Why did all the snowmen cross the road?

A. Because Vanoc was herding them up to the barren slopes of the Olympic events.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

question 185

Q. Why did Napoleon keep putting his hand inside his jacket?

A. He was checking to see if the ipod had been invented yet.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

question 184

Q. Are the minimalist, ultra-modern decorating schemes in magazines really very practical?

A. The trouble with all white walls, white furniture, and white carpeting, is that you never see the polar bear until it is too late....

Monday, February 22, 2010

question 183

Q. What happened on the most famous blind date of all time?

A. It turned out that Justice wasn't as blind as she was letting on....

Sunday, February 21, 2010

question 182

Q. Why did the rooster not cross the road?

A. He didn't want anyone to think he was chicken.

Friday, February 19, 2010

question 181

Q. Why do elephants never forget?

A. Have you ever tried to tie a string around an elephant's toe?

Thursday, February 18, 2010

question 180

Q. What does it mean when someone is running down the street carrying a torch?

A. If the people behind him are carrying pitchforks, they are hunting monsters, whereas if the people behind him are carrying guns, it's the Olympics.