Saturday, October 31, 2009

question 149

Q. What should you say when you see a vampire and a devil together?

A. "Bloody Hell."

Friday, October 30, 2009

question 148

Q. Why did the penguin cross the road?

A. He was on a cultural exchange, and he was certain he was having a much better time than the chicken in Antarctica.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

question 147

Q. What can you say about the sad result of a cross between a ghost and an owl?

A. Boo Who.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

question 146

Q. What do polite vampires send their victims?

A. Fang you notes.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

question 145

Q. What do you get when you cross Gomer Pyle with a hip young person wearing black and looking pale?

A. Golly Goth.

Monday, October 26, 2009

question 144

Q. Why does the caduceus, the ancient symbol for medicine and healing, show snakes crawling up a stick?

A. It was before snakes discovered ladders.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

question 143

Q. When should I not invest in high tech companies?

A. When it is a dot con company.

question 142

Q. What is the scariest thing about Hallowe'en?

A. Walmart, the day afterwards, when the Christmas stuff comes out.

question 141

Q. What should you never say to a woman with PMS and a gun?

A. "Stop me if you have heard this one."

question 140

Q. Why did my friend wear leather boots and spurs, and carry a whip at my wedding?

A. Poor spelling. She thought she was part of the bridle party.

question 139

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. He was a Christian graffiti artist.

question 138

Q. Why do witches always have a black cat riding on the end of their broomstick?

A. In accordance with Federal Aviation Safety regulations, someone on every flight must give a speech in both official languages telling you what to do in the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure.

question 137

Q. Why did the surfer chicken cross the road?

A. To get to the other tide

question 136

Q. Why did the chicken cross halfway across the road?

A. She wanted to lay it on the line.

Friday, October 16, 2009

question 135

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. He could see his ex coming down the sidewalk, and couldn't face another argument about who came first; the chicken or the ex...

Thursday, October 15, 2009

question 134

Q. Is it true that scientists have discovered a new source of earth tremors?

A. Yes. Large urban populations drinking way too much coffee....

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

question 133

Q. Why would one of the guests at my Halloween party spend the entire night talking to a skeleton decoration?

A. Maybe he thought he was chatting up a super model.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

question 132

Q. Why did the gambler cross the road?

A. To bet to the other side....

Monday, October 12, 2009

question 131

Q. What did pumpkin #2 and #3 say about pumpkin #1?

A. "Botox, for sure..."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

question 130

Q. What kind of shoes do skunks wear?

A. High heels.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

question 129

Q. Did anybody ask for seconds at the Teddy Bear Picnic?

A. No, all the bears said they were stuffed....

Friday, October 9, 2009

question 128

Q. What finally broke up the relationship between Peter Rabbit and the Easter Bunny?

A. Peter lost patience with having to search the whole burrow every time he wanted to make an omelet....

Thursday, October 8, 2009

question 127

Q. I left my door open accidentally, and a huge, shaggy bear moved into my basement suite. He ate all my food, and then fell asleep. How can I get rid of him?

A. There are government agencies that will shoot him with a sedative and release him into the wilderness. Before calling them, check carefully that this isn't your son back from college.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

question 126

Q. What do you call a handsome group of exquisitely groomed, well muscled male lions?

A. Gay pride.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

question 125

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?

A. Because it was there. He was in training for Everest.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Question 124

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road in the very early morning?

A. To get to the Star buck buck bucks....

Friday, October 2, 2009

question 123

Q. Can you tell where the kid was from that made this drawing?

A. The Pacific Northwest. See how there is only one quarter of a sun....

Thursday, October 1, 2009

question 122

Q. Why did Napoleon abandon the siege of Moscow and bring his troops back to France?

A. Every time he thought of Paris, he couldn't remember whether he had left the kettle on....